On Trick Photography

Five Lines That Boys Use With Good Intentions:

1. "I love you."
Do you love her? Truly? Are you willing to lay down your life for her? Are you aware that from the moment you say this (or possibly before) she will begin planning a late winter February wedding?
Be careful with these words. Seek wisdom and council. Pray about your vision and understanding of love before you lead a woman down the bumpy, devastating path that could have possibly been prevented.

2. "I can't wait to marry you one day."
Are you sure? Think about what these words are going to do to her heart before you speak them flippantly. I beg of you to pray and learn about biblical marriage, manhood, and love BEFORE this sentence is uttered. These words breathe life into a fantasy that she has been trying with all her might to squelch from the moment her brain told her that you are "the one." These words have the power to unlock a world in her of engagement ring obsessing, wedding dress longing, and "perfect first dance song" awareness.

3. "If you're a bird, I am a bird."
Do you want to be a bird? Are you perhaps a lion that is pretending to be a bird because the bird is really nice and pretty? If you're a lion, be a lion and wait for a lioness. Don't be a lion and let the bird think that maybe, possibly, if she prays really hard, you'll turn into the most perfect and handsome bird.

4. "If you love me, you would do it."
STOP IT RIGHT NOW. I have so many friends that have gone further sexually than they EVER wanted to because of this exact sentence. Sexual impurity of ANY kind can be avoided. Man up, refuse the status quo, and guard BOTH of your hearts. For the literal love of Christ, stop tricking yourself that "just fooling around" means you aren't ensnared.

5. "You're making too big a deal out of that"/ "I never said that"/ "You're just looking for a reason to get angry."
Words have an unimaginable power. They have the ability to build strength and encourage the brokenhearted. Under all of that, words have the ability to cripple, badger, and kill. Sometimes, women make HUGE deals out of very very insignificant things, THIS DOES NOT MAKE US INADEQUATE. Our feelings and emotions need to be validated, acknowledged, and encouraged. Through the Wisdom of God, my prayer is that we will all learn self- control.
Until then, please, brothers, when we ladies get angry or upset please back-track and consider:
What did I say?
How could that have come across?
With what tone-of-voice did I deliver my words?
Could she be right?
Even if she is dead-wrong, is that reason enough to invalidate her very real emotions?

I have been left and forsaken by more men than I am OK with. Almost all of them used lines such as these on me. Maybe it wasn't their fault. Perhaps the fault lies entirely upon the low self-image we women push like drugs into our systems. In the end, the result remains the same-- broken, empty, lonely women; confused by their singleness and heartbreak; shocked by their low self-value and appalled by whom they have become.

My sweet sisters and brothers, breathe deep the righteousness and purity of Christ within you. 

"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake; and I will not remember your sins."

—Isaiah 43:25

Brothers, I know more than most how easily it can be to blame women. The things we wear make it impossible not to lust; the way we conduct ourselves make it easy to fill our heads with sweet nothings; you (usually) never meant to hurt any one, etc. I KNOW. Here is the deal though, amongst us women, Lord willing, there is a shifting amongst us where we are becoming aware that there is something we can DO to help our brothers out. Please be patient with us as we are trying to LITERALLY go against every single message we are getting from the world.

Please, brothers, please be patient. Be men of the Lord; men of integrity blameless and steadfast and wait for us as we women are learning how to wait for you.


Ladies, don't think that you're off the hook; a blog on the crap we peddle is coming soon I am certain. Most importantly though, my wish for both men and women is that you would see yourself as holy, beautiful, worthy, and righteous.

We are told in II Corinthians 1:20, that in Christ Jesus we have our "yes" and "amen." What this means is that even though life is messy, and sometimes life is REALLY REALLY messy, Christ is sufficient to fulfill all our desires and needs and that fulfillment is our assurance that God promises to never leave and forsake us.

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, he is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

—Deuteronomy 31:6

 Finally, rest and relax in this, dear ones, God cannot break a promise.

My covenant I will not break, nor alter the word that has gone out of my lips.
—Psalm 89:34

He is for our good. 
May the love we have one for another tell of the love we have for Christ.

Songs of the blog:
Photography- The Starting Line
Undo Me- Jennifer Knapp
Wake Up- All Sons and Daughters
The Earth Falls Asleep (Acoustic)- Abandon Kansas
Wanderin' Eyes- Matt Wertz

On Giving Up On Half-empty Glasses

Until just recently, I had begun to trick myself that I was waiting well. 

In the stillness and in the silence I was hearing my Creator whisper that I am loved, taken care of, and delighted in. In light of recent events, I cannot help but feel like a failure and be angry with myself because of how selfish I have been. My marriage status seems to be directly linked to my joy.

There is a deep seeded shame that emerges from this revelation. SURELY people are tired of me "breaking up to the glory of the Lord." 
It causes me to beg the question: 
"Are you tired of it, Papa? Are you tired of my whiny broken heart?" 
If I am honest with myself, these doubts emerge because I am tired of hearing it. I am tired of feeling it. I am tired.

Almost all of me wants the Lord's glory; then, there is the section of me that wished the last guy or the one before would have been "it" so that I could just stop and exhale. I find myself envious of the Brits I am seeing on television in shows like North & South and Downton Abbey. Fancy clothes, fancy talk, and proposals that go essentially just like this:

Guy: I don't hate you.

Girl: Is this a proposal?

Guy: Yes.

Girl: WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!

That seems so civilized to me. Being dragged about until everything is "right" or "finances are in order" feels so exhausting. Granted, being trapped in a loveless terrible marriage also frightens me, so, there's that.

Judging from the ten new "must read" blogs that come out every day on social media, I am far from being the only person I know that is struggling with being single. There seems to be a very public and widespread need to declare that we are all OK. Sweep your mess into a cute little bin, but a bow, or a bird, on it, and call it "waiting" or "giving up to the glory of God." Blog after blog after blog celebrates the waiting, hurting, and "being strong."

When did it stop being acceptable to really struggle with major issues? 
When did wanting to be a wife and mother begin to be a major character flaw? 
I am not any less strong because I crave a husband to share in comfort, support, and Kingdom responsibilities. 

I desire to live for the Lord's name and renown. 
Some days, this tends to get messy. 
In the middle of my mess, I serve the Lord; and He that is rich in mercy, sees me, loves me, and delights in me.

He speaks LIFE into my mess.



Songs of the blog:

Carry me Through- Dave Barnes
The Thief- Brooke Fraser
Use Somebody (cover)- Tyrone Wells
Control Freak- Copeland
Giving Up- Ingrid Michaelson